THE kid,insane,freak,joker,sinner,lover,seeker,pardoned,forgetful,slave,dreamer,soldier

haha, for the tiltle it's NOT... i repeat it NOT pertaining to anyone! just an old expression my tropa and I made fot laughs, why the sudden remembrance? cause a really good friend... whom i was not able to talk to in a long period or time, was online in the "yahoo messenger" haha! then what? we talked about old stuffs and new stuffs... I even opened a conference window so all of us could talk! so there we were conversing, conversing... and we talked about some really deep shits! haha... and should I say that the ashes of the three prime evils will rise from it's fall and shall incarnate it's self and be the purest of all evil once again!

guess who's back... so fuck it up! you don't want it back, but hell it's back! so fuck it up! shit is on...

Pain is my partner, misery is my friend... and when I come to your houses, pray to the lord your God, and pray hard that he may intermit me! for I am the bringer of death!

my friends will remember this phrase very well!
haha.. pero wag kau magalala em just reminising the past...
only part of the old me will be back, safe pa din kau! joke...

Anyways I have never been this energetic to write in my blog so nanamnamin ko na...

To all my friends you know who you are, salamat sa advices... although I asked you not to emphatize and symphatize, in the end our friendships still ruled! Rock on...
And a special thanks to someone! kay beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep kasi wala lang... sino siya? siya din hinde nya alam kung na siya toh, edi okay diba? maangs toh... my brain is wacked and i don't think it will be fixed anytime soon... but I like it wacked for it has always been long before i was able to say dada or mama! haha... so I guess I like myself,

FAIR NA... ibig sanihin feb na, at mas ibig sabihin birthday ko na! WEW i can't wait. haha!

kakain kme ng:

sisig - wew
crispy tenga - what the fuck
itik - popogi naman mga friends ko sa pwet ng itik
liempo - sana matuloy toh, gusto ko nga taba
bicol express - ampness anu toh?

lalaklak kme ng

chivas - wew, bigtime... salamat pa!
cuervo - dalawang bote toh, salamat ma!
emperador - sunuga ng baga toh (sa mga pinsan yan) - swerte friends ko

kita kits tayo...

well, yesterday was a very good day for me... I woke up an hour earlier that expected, checked my e-mail and and stuffs, then charles ymed me... because we were suppose to meet at our school because we are going to watch a movie afterwards! haha... pretty cool friends, wynn is also going to my school cause I invited him to join the movie trip, so as jero who has the same class as I that afternoon... so there I was sitting ang kicking bad guy's asses in my GBA when charles arrived, I turned off my GBA and we went off to play some pRO at hack you... we talked on the way there and he said some really good stuff... it was a really good conversation! haha... we played for an hour then we went back to school because I have a class at 12:00 noon, then jero arrived and we talked about pRO, which means that jero is still asking for some spare items... haha! then perry joined us, so it was me, charles, jero and perry... talking about stuff we really like, ragnarok! then my teacher came... and we went in, charles has no class today so he is sitting in... he was hidding from our teacher cause were not sure if sitting in is allowed! haha... after my class wynn arrived! we got in my car... charles sitted in the front, jero and wynn at the back... and we went off to fetch our ever dearest GM, marvin... after that we went to Mega Mall and marvin bought a 5k bag... haha! na may libreng racket... before that we bought our ticket! we were going to watch "wyt noize" it was still early so wynn asked if he could puff some smokes before we go so we let him, then we bought some quickly and head for the movies! haha... we bought some popcorn and went in! as we were watching the movie we realized that the freaking movie is not worth watching at the theatre but for t.v. viewing only! ahaha... yung tipong pang HBO lang... haha! ang kulit, the plot I suggested or the ending was even better than the movie itself... haha! after the movie it was now time to go home! charles was the first one to go... then marvin then jero then wynn... haha! now let's get to the title! white noise was about ghosts and stuff and there was always three shadows showing up so we guessed that they were "The three prime evil" then I said "wynn parang tayo pala nila bry yan eh!" "bry, erol, and wynn = the three prime evils" naka... haha! by the way we guys talked and talked and talked and I realized somethings... that I may havve few friends! but all of them are dear and close to me... and I know that I have established the greatest relationships with them... like what I said to reyia "friends will be friends" and like what she said "yes, I'm thankful your one of mine"... and like her I am thankful for the friends I have, that they are my friends and that they stuck with me... even if I am insane, rude, funny, mad, angry, unruly, furious, childish, insensitive, sensitive, mature, sane... for they know me! and they saw who I really was:

TO wynn: man salamat sa usap... bibigyan mo pa ko ng BBQ stick!
TO marvin: they say you'll find your best pal in highschool but I found mine in college
TO charles: so little time, yet the friendship you offered was great
TO jero: tol, kahit ilang sapatos at buckler pa hingin mo sa ragna basta kaya bibigay ko...
TO reyia: thank you for the renewed friendship!

sana sa birthday ko wag nio ako kalimutan! haha... sama sama tayo!

Birthday invites:

Joule - bawal gumawa ng paelya
Perry - /...
Dyogi - best actor namen
Jero - best bata
Charles - sana payagan k na
Wynn and - mothsery pero sana dumaan ka naman
Marvin - alam ko makakapunta ka
Bryan - magsimula ka na magswimming papunta dito! dalawang bote ng cuervo tayo!

OI, regalo ko! haha... joke, i have received my birthday gift for some people, even more... but for you guys, I have recieved way back... and that is our friendship... haha! salamat...

I can feel the coldness creeping around me...
I can feel it as it seeps through my vains,
I fear death, but i admire it as well
I cannot stand in this darkness...
But I must, not to show off but to die!
Yes, die... I will die with the sun, and be with the moon
Death may someday come, but it is always welcome
As it has always been.
When will I be given the luxury of pain, the company
of disaster, and the neverending love of death?
When? Is it today? Tommorow perhaps?
I have been waiting for you all my life...
I have been neglecting everything just to feel you
overshadow my soul and taint my worthless life
I have been searching, every corner... Every street,
so that I may sucumb to the numbing comfort you give
I do not need the light, Darkness is better... For it hides everything
that is in me... Everything!
I want to stay in the center of a darkened room, and be happy
I want to feel solitude, The Dark Bliss of life...
I want to feel Nirvana in it's most Morbid state
I am a man, who feels... who weeps.
When will it all end? Never I guess...
Will I survive?
Will I take pleasure, in what "LIFE" has to offer?
I am still waiting for the death I most hold dear,
ever since.
I can see the clouds move faster, and faster, and faster...
I can see the waves move, but not kiss the shores
I can see birds fly, but burn as well
I can see the sun darkens, with out any assurance of
rising up again.
I can hear songs, that tell the saddest stories of the
future.
I cannot see
I cannot hear
I cannot feel
I cannot breath
Is this the flames of hell?
Is this the warmth of heaven?
It feels so good... The luxury of
ignorance, I want to have it
And savor it for the rest of my life...
When will these end?
When will I be... no more than a distant
mermory? of someone dear to me?
When?
Will I be needing a savior? Yes...
I am but a freak who craves for a savior
I am weak...


haha... it's just gibberish... well what the hell, i think it's nice though... hahaha! hmmm...

buhay, makakausap nanaman kita ulit... napakahabang panahon, marami na ang nangyari! maraming bagay na hinde ko maintindihan, naiintindihan... at patuloy na iniintindi, hinde ko maiwasang magisip, mag taka... kung bakit sa hinaba haba, ng panahong nakalipas eh kakausapin kita ulit? hinde ka ba napapagod na habulin ako sa tuwing ako ay nadadapa?
hindi ka ba napapagod na sundan ang lahat ng aking mga gawa? ha? minsan naisip ko... siguro hindi ako nakatadhana na makawala sa matatalim mong mga kuko at sa makamandag mong kagat, minsan naisip ko na mas makatotohanan kung hahayaan na lang kita sa iyong ginagawa at patuloy na mag paalipin sa iyon... isa kang lasong dahan dahan, pumapailalim sa aking katawan. Ikaw ay isang mabangis na hayop, na handang lamunin ang sino mang malapitan. Natatakot ako sa mga kaya mong gawin, hinde ako matapang o malakas... ako ay pumapailalim lamang sa iyong mga laro, na mahirap maiwasan at mahirap mapigilan... at maging takasan, pagbigyan mo kaya ako kung magsumamo ako na... ako ay pakawalan? Hayaang mabuhas sa kawalan? Kung saan ang bawat taong makakasama ay hinde kasali sa kalokohang mong laro? Sana pakinggan ang aking mga hiling at pagsusumamo... Pakawalan mo ako, sa malulungkot mong yakap, sa malalamig na tinggin at sa nakakatakot na kinabukasan... Hayaan mo akong lumigaya! Isang bagay na sa tuwing aking makakamit ay lagi mong binabawi... Ligaya ang aking inaasam, sana mapag bigyan... kahit sa konting panahon lang, bago man lang ako bawiian ng hininga at bago man lang ako mawalang ng pag-asa, Buhay... kelan ka ba makikinig sa isang taong katulad ko?
Kelan mo ba bibigyan ng pansin ang isang panaghoy ng nilalang na nabuhay sa kadiliman mo?
Ako ba ay kukunin mo na? Kikitlin mo na ba ang wala kong kwentang buhay? Ang pintig ba nang aking puso ay patuloy mo nang papabagalin at unti unting papawalain? Ang katotohanang nais kong makamit... Isang katotohanang lagi kong hinahap at pinapangarap, na kahit kelan ay hindi ko nalasap. Masarap ba ang mabuhay? Masasabi mo ba saakin na ang buhay na aking inaangkin ngayon ay tama? Gayong ang lahat nang aking nadadama ay pulos kasawian at kamalian? Kailang mo ako hahayaan? Kailan mo ako pababayaan? Kailang mo ako hahayaang magkaroon ng buhay na masasabi kong akin? Kailan?

- another gibberish... haha, no one reads my blog so i guess it's quite okay to be talking gibberish! ahahaha... em weird, and that's the truth people around me must bear!

well, what can I say... Dina and I cooled off last night, If you'll ask me. I never wanted this to happen... but I respect her and I respect what she had to say, so we did... cooled off, I feel like shit right now! I don't want to lose the girl I want to marry and be with for the rest of my life. Our personalities may not jive that much but I sure do enjoy being with her... I love to see her safe every freaking day! and I want her to be happy...

I was with my sisters earlier, I bought a book for then... which I don't do offten, I don't know why I did it. But I did, maybe because I'm feeling sad or lonely... who knows? and we watched Meet the Fockers, good movie if I may say so... And while I was there watching the movie, I cannot help but wish that everything was alright between her and me... Oh, how I wish!

well, there's nothing much I can do about it right now... I guess, but hell! I won't be losing her with out a fight!

I won't be losing the girl I want to marry! alas... I know what to do.

I love her... and I shout stop writting in here! I should go to her and tell her how much I love her, I may be rejected or I may be made a fool... but atleast I tried! NO i don't try... I'll do my best! I won't try... I will, For I love her so much... enough of this crap! I'll go see her!

Well,

That's me...

A faint scream echoes in my wall of silence, it rumbles... and every thing trembles!
I am at the mercy of uncertainty, but i must muster all that I have to be me...
But I fear myself more than any evil I can imagine.
I am losing my grip from the blade I hold dear, the blade that keeps me from falling into the abbys of darkness...
I don't know how I can hold on much longer... nothing is certain!
A shadow, lurks in my soul...
Every touch, every wisper takes a piece of me away...
A dark stare pusher me away...
It makes evey flesh, every nerve, every cell in me twitch...
I cannot run, I cannot hide...
For It is I, who stalks me...
There is no way out, no where to run...
For I am all alone!
I need a savior, I need a redeemer...
I cannot hold on much longer,
I cannot bleed any further.
Is everything in me enough to make this last?
Am I enough, hold the bond?
I fear what is uncertain
I fear the futrure
I fear ME...

The most beautiful amongst life's children, makes any man tremble in fear... makes the most pure evil, and the most evil pure... One cannot know light if he has not seen darkness! Darkness never loses... it simply waits and lurks until the purest of light disapears. Darkness never fades, nor degrade! It is eternal... That is why it is so fatal, Like the month in the fable, who was attracted to the lamp. I am attracted to the beauty of darkness. my arms are wide open... here I am, take me! Leave nothin... Take everything!

haha... today i got to see Dina, whoooot whoooooot. But this day didn't started out great you know, Dina and I had a little mis-understanding, well i guess it was my fault... Sorry Dina, then i fetched her at her house, then we watched Mano Po III... haha! Luto ang "Film Fest" nde kagalingan si Vilma <----( sorry sa mga vilmanian) anyways... after the movie we walked around and we bought some candies! (gummy bears and who know's what) tapos we chilled in my house! we ate pears! haha... yummy! we dipped it in get this, "suka basi" also known as "sukang iloco" which smells really bad but tastes really really really good... Then it time for the saddest part of the day, the bringing home time! haha... alas! I have classes tommorow and she has to go enroll, so there we go... I opened the car door for her, and then closed it.... and we drove off to her house! She tickled me... and get this I WAS DRIVING, haha... but it was fun, i really like it if she's some what "malambing to me" haha, But before going home... we made a drive tru at McDo, i bought Double Cheese Burger Meal UPSIZE and she bought some twister fries, haha... we got an xtra twister fries for free! wew... the guy at teh counter made a mistake, <---- hey it was too late to bring it back! hehe... At last we arrived at her home, ohhhh... so sad, but hey it's alright cause she's all mine! NOW THE GOOD PART... as I was about to leave the proximity of their building I saw her run to their door, WOW... she is REALLY BEUTIFUL, i guess my least favorite part of the day TURNED OUT REALLY GREAT. NOW I HAVE SOMETHING TO DREAM ABOUT... haha! the end...

I love you DINA...
sana nagustuhan mo yung mga ginawa ko for you!

you rock gurl...

As the daylight fades and as night time shines....
I will be here
As the skies turns orange and the sea darkenss
I will be here
I love you
Than I am sure, more than the time... less than
NOTHING

haha... good night my dear!

wew!! em so drunk... hehe, happy new year guys! kakatapos lang ng reunion namin! haha! anyways... i drank alot of sanmig lights and can yoiu beleive it, em drunk... everythings seems to be moovin toooooo fast for me! haha... this is pretty cewl, no wait this raks! this is the best new year ever! haha...

I'm with a really cewl, beutiful, and rakin gulrfriend named DINA.
I am still alive, <--- as some may find pretty disapointing
I am drunk <--- as i find pretty disappointing, cause i can't type that well
and I am pretty much happy and looking forward for the comming year <--- with DINA, ONLY!

I hope i will be given the chance to see her tommorow for I "freaking" miss her!

By the way I bought this cool toy earlier, well my mom bought it for me... It's a mechanized captain america, pretty cool huh?! it walks ang it smash! haha... drool over boys!

any ways... i hafta sleep! haha... ZZZZZzzzzZZZZZzzzzZZZZZZZZzzzzzz!

CHERRS AND HAVE A BLESSED NEW YEAR!!!!